By Myself

What do I do to ignore them behind me? Do I follow my instincts blindly? Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it? Or do I try to catch them red-handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin. I make the right moves but I'm lost within... I put on my daily facade but then I just end up getting hurt again by myself.
I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself...

I can’t hold on to what I want when I’m stretched so thin. It’s all too much to take in.
I can’t hold on to anything watching everything spin, with thoughts of failure sinking in.

If I turn my back I’m defenseless... And to go blindly seems senseless.
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll take from me ‘till everything is gone.
If I let them go I’ll be outdone, but if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun.
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer by myself

I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself...

How do you think I’ve lost so much... I'm so afraid that I'm out of touch.
How do you expect... I will know what to do when all I know is what you tell me to...

Don’t you know?

I can’t tell you how to make it go... No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can’t seem to convince myself why I’m stuck on the outside

I can’t hold on to what I want when I’m stretched so thin. It’s all too much to take in.
I can’t hold on to anything watching everything spin, with thoughts of failure sinking in.